japan was meant to shatter me in the best way

when i moved to japan in 2021, i always thought it would make me a “better teacher”. back then i’d just left a 6-year teaching career to become an ALT. japan was something else. it was many beautiful things weaved around the not so pretty. cliche but every rose has its thorn. three years of living there transformed my soul. the isolation, the deafening silence, the fleeting beauty of watching the sakura bloom & fall away. it’s taught me to sit with myself each night. and each passing night would get more unbearable.

my first year was merely a string of depressing nights stitched into 365 days. i smoked my anxieties away and drowned in alcohol for temporary bliss. at daytime they wouldn’t notice that behind every smile, laughter, and “i’m okay”, i was barely getting by. something about being misunderstood, unnoticed, and unnecessary. that genuinely broke me. i’d spend the whole week standing in the corner, wondering why i left my fulfilling career in the first place. every day i started work, i’d wonder if it was all a mistake.

but hey, i held on for three years. three long years.

within those three years i learned to pick myself up, quit nicotine, and feel true joy without a glass of whiskey. the job didn’t get better, but i learned how to manage it. with new experiences, creative outlets, and someone who saw me for who i am, the rest of the journey felt lighter. and in the midst of this journey, i allowed myself to evolve. japan taught me so many things about myself, but the best thing i discovered was: i was ready to lead. it was time to say goodbye to classroom teaching.

after failing at my first attempt on a writing business, we tried again and again. two more brands later, we finally learned everything we needed. i’m writing this on the 13th of december 2025. we’re on day 44 of our creative studio. my partner and i are co-founders running an already successful business. we wrapped up a client project tonight, and will soon kickoff a new one with the same client who understands why japan was meant to shatter me in the best way:

i was always destined to break out of my comfort zone and meet the version of myself who leads with quality, depth, and humanity.

~~~

stay soulful,
jo from 要素 yōso studio